Catholic chastity seminar encourages gays to not act on their feelings

Inside the Sacred Heart Major Seminary in Detroit, a 43-year-old man told a crowd of 200 at a Catholic seminar today about his lifetime of struggle being attracted to other men and how he has found joy in resisting his desires, saying that when he acted on his sexual impulses he felt terrible.

Outside on the sidewalk, about a dozen people carried signs and banners with messages such as “Human sexuality is a God-given gift” and “Love is not a sin” to protest the three-plus-hourevent. Protester Tom Zerafa, 62, of Oak Park said the seminar and the group behind it condemn “children to a life of denial.”

Many of those at the seminar, where the 43-year-old was one of several speakers, had come to gain a better understanding of the Catholic Church’s teachings on homosexuality because they minister to groups at their own parishes and were looking for advice on how to address what they consider a difficult topic.

The seminar was developed by a Connecticut-based Catholic ministry known as Courage International, which teaches that homosexual thoughts are not sinful but that acting on those urges is immoral. The group travels and teaches that celibacy, or chastity in church parlance, can lead to a more fulfilling life.

The Rev. Paul Check from Bridgeport, Conn., who led the event, said during a break that there’s a perception problem about the church’s teachings on homosexuality, which is one of numerous acts, including masturbation, fornication and cohabitation, that could be considered “misdirected desires.”

“Unchaste behavior is selfish and hurts the people involved,” he said, noting that the church is a great champion of human love.

Check told the group that they must not judge others and should not lose sight of the unique souls involved when confronting such moral issues.

But Linda Karle-Nelson and her husband, Tom Nelson, of Farmington Hills said the message conveyed by Courage is damaging.

The Nelsons attended the session and said they were troubled by what they heard.

“It’s very depressing in a way,” Tom Nelson said. “Linda and I spent many years dealing with the human wreckage that results from such philosophies.”

The Nelsons, 84 and 73, respectively, were both widowed and each has a gay son. Tom Nelson said his son attempted suicide because of messages like the one Courage promotes.

“They’re asking people to not be who they are,” said Linda Nelson.“They’re not asking anyone to change. They’re just asking them to acknowledge their sex and not act on it and there’s where the problem comes in.”

Jim Wilson, 59, of Royal Oak, is a parishioner at Shrine of the Little Flower in Royal Oak and came to educate himself on what he said is likely to be the most significant issue facing young people in the future.

He said there is a lack of understanding about the church’s position and that the effort is really about helping people with SSA — the acronym used by Courage to describe same-sex attraction — become the best version of themselves.

“We all have issues we have to deal with. No one thing defines us,” Wilson said.

Jeanette Quesada, 48, also of Royal Oak, said she came so she could learn to offer better guidance for members of her women’s group where she is a facilitator at Shrine of the Little Flower. She wants to be compassionate and non-judgmental and was pleased to learn of the support the church offers.

“They’re concerned for their loved ones’ soul. Where do you go? What do you do?” she said of the women she has spoken with who discover they have a gay relative. “How does someone who is Christian approach this with understanding?”  Freep